The phrase, sometimes attributed to Wittgenstein, though I don’t recall reading this statement in any of his work, I interpret as a ‘cautionary’ of sorts.  A handy, easy device to keep us honest and mindful of our strengths and limitations.  A device that, after 11 months of blogging and more closely observing the claim habits of others, many, if not most, don’t have in their intellectual tool belts.  Worse than not having it or something similar, most of those fail to recognize they need it.  This failure serves little purpose.  Other than to confuse whatever issue’s discussed, and possibly to ensure those discussing whatever issue go wrong with an undeserved and unsupportable self-congratulatory confidence.

This observation has me puzzled.  Why put so much time and effort into an activity one clearly doesn’t care enough about to get right?  I have some opinions.  Ego-investment.  A belief in ‘the right to one’s opinion’ founded on a lack of recognition of authority, expertise, difference, and understanding of even the most rudimentary structures of civilization, technology, knowledge-justification, and other foibles of our growing, greased-wheel eager impulse-slaking mass-man culture.  Toss in a bit of PoMo babble for flavor, which, by the time it trickles from the Tower to the streets has lost any meaning and application it may have had, and even the most simple and obvious truths are questionable (and questioned).

We do this at our own peril folks.  History is full of examples of this type of decadence and degeneration.  Many have followed the pattern we have (purposely or otherwise) adopted.  Most reside in the dustbins of history and unrecoverable retrogression.  Each time you assault and manipulate truth for some immediate gain, real or perceived, you plant another seed of our eventual destruction.

Really I did very little.  Though very little is all one can do in this system.  That is, until measures, probably legislative, are taken to correct problems in the system.  As I think back on the past year and half, it really drops ten pounds of choler in my 5 pound choler bag that most of the problems I experienced, and the horrible consequences these problems created, could have been corrected in about 15 minutes had proper channels and procedures been used.

But there’s good news to report.  Finally I’m on Active Duty Medical Extension orders.  Approved and backdated to June.  Meaning a good bit of money, an easier time approving the medical care I need, and a retention decision within 90 days - possibly 90 days from June 5th.  It seems likely, as well, that incapacitation pay backdated to Sept 07 will be approved.

Why this change of approach?  Not sure.  I seriously doubt it reflects a change of heart.  My sense is, and of course I could be totally off the rez, the Army wants to get square with the house before they show me the door.  Or perhaps, more in line with their M.O., they’d try to retain me while also removing the largest stores of bitching-ammo.  I guess I’ll find out soon enough.  (And so will all of you.)

I admit to having doubts.  Not a crisis of faith, but concern for finding my place in the presbyterate.  Those who know me personally fully understand.  Those who don’t, suffice it to say a Byronic hero, whether chasubled or flack vested, seldom makes a good subordinate.  (Yeah, I’m pretty sure I just made up a word and awkwardly used another.  Cut me some slack.  I’m just a dumb Army guy taught to deal death, defile cultures, indiscriminately kill children, women, and old people, and rape baby seals.  We warriors leave concern for orthography to the French (I mean ‘Freedom Landers?’) and other pussies.)

I wouldn’t say I’m disobedient.  More that I don’t bow well (bad back) and I never developed a taste for shoe polish.  I consider it a much greater show of respect to tell the truth and share my unfiltered thoughts than to flatter and agree.

Simians.  Not much patience for them.  Those in ACU patterns especially so.  Haven’t heard from them, any of them, in close to two months.  Somehow the ‘we’re all rooting for ya’ email sign-off rings hollow in light of this lack of communication and inferred lack of concern.

Cyborgs.  I’ll soon be one.  The neurosurgeon’s PA wrote a script for a fancy orthotic device.  The upper portion girds my ankle and the upper part of my right foot.  The middle and lower, as described to me, is spring-loaded.  The purpose: Keeping the top of my right foot from dragging the ground when I walk.

Women.  Two of note.  First the PA.  Pisses me off that I know more about my injuries, syndromes, and how to treat each than she does.  She prescribed PT 2-3 times a week for 4 weeks.  If that doesn’t work, more diagnostic testing, and additional surgeries are what awaits me.  Again, I voiced concern re: Spinal fusion.  With the discs above deteriorating - and deteriorated to the exact degree L5-S1 was 18 months ago, the additional stress of fusion may not be the best option.  She shook her head, something of a vacant expression on her usually chirpy and attentive countenance, spit what I just said back at me, saying fusion was the likely next step.  Whatever.

The second women of note is my wife.  She’s concerned.  The usual stuff plus some newer stuff.  Specifically ‘mood swings.’  I don’t recognize them.  She does.  I’ll have to bring them up to the doc next time.  To finish the thought, I feel sorry for her.  Living me with pre-injury was no picnic.  Post-injury has to be a nightmare.

I’m still okay.  Better than 8 months ago, but still not good/well.  I still have pain, trouble walking, and the neurological symptoms I had before, the intensity of each proportionate to level of activity.  The Restoril isn’t working quite as well as it once did.  Hopefully a higher dose will.

Wife and I had our second anniversary.  We each got 3Gs.  I finally started the novel.  It’s coming along very well.  I’m actually a bit surprised at how easy it is to write fiction.

After a lot of tinkering I submitted my application for priesthood to the Abbot and Prior of my Order.

Still haven’t heard anything from the Army re: My status/disposition of my MEB/PEB.  Why should I know, right?  It’s only my wife and my future plans in suspense.  It’s not just a part time job, it’s a huge fucking annoyance, I mean adventure.

My brother got back from AT.  These retards got the smack down from 1st Army for putting their people in FOBs.  Idiots.  I’ve never understood why some, and this seems common in the Army and Marine Corps, make silently enduring and in some instances requesting poor treatment into some sort of virtue.  I think it just makes one a pussy or a masochist.  The justification Cody got from his ’superiors’ had something to do with ‘keeping it real.’  Too bad keeping it real in Iraq and Afghanistan got nothing to do with tent cities, as everyone’s in barracks or trailers.  And by the way, living in a tent for two weeks for no good reason doesn’t make anyone tougher.

I have another neurosurgeon appt next week.  I can’t be sure, but I have a feeling he’s going to recommend fusion, possibly multiple-level.  I’ll be sure to update next week.

I considered pasting the article in its entirety, but a lot of it is quixotic, hyperbolic anti-war screed.  Violence as “suicide of species” and what not.  And while I do sympathize with Carroll’s take, such discussions are best left for coffee houses, college classrooms, the floors of Congress, and other venues in which threnodic discourse is an end rather than a means to or a call to action.

“‘SUPPORT THE troops” is an American lie. This nation is grievously and knowingly failing the young men and women who wear the uniform of its military services, and nothing demonstrates that more powerfully than the suicides of soldiers. According to the Army’s own figures, the rate of suicide among active duty personnel nearly doubled between 2001 and 2006. The number then grew even higher in 2007, when suicide ranked third as the cause of death among members of the National Guard. Even if proximate causes vary from war zones to home fronts, such data are anomalous, since suicide rates among soldiers historically go down during wartime, not up.”

“Unit cohesion is the absolute virtue. Thus our soldiers prepare to die not for Iraq, nor even for America, but for one another. “I’ve got your back,” they promise. In combat, such commitment is often heroically fulfilled, but, alas, once the bureaucracy replaces the buddy, loyalty, too, is found to be a lie. Harsh to say, but the American military cares nothing for the individuals who comprise it, only for the mission those individuals, in formation, can accomplish.”

Source: http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/editorial_opinion/oped/articles/2008/06/30/a_blind_eye_on_soldiers_suicides/

I don’t know much about either man.  What their motivations for doing what they did were.  But from watching the interview it seemed they were just doing their thing.  They were great players.  Talent is no respecter of demographics.

I would like to think they hoped that fact would be recognized in spite of the racial divisions existing at that time.  Though their opinions regarding the equality of moral and legal standing of all peoples was never expressed.  They just played and hoped, given the justness of this cause, peoples’ attitudes and positive laws would catch up.

I have similar hopes for soldiers’ rights.  I mean shit, we’re already ahead of the game by comparison, as no one, except that asshole from ‘Forsake the Troops,’ disagrees that service members ought to be treated well.  I have a political BBQ to attend this weekend to advance this cause.  Chicken, salad, cakes and candies, Levin, Obama’s campaign staff, and various members of elected State government.  Sounds like a hoot.

But this is a good opportunity.  Like Hank and Willie, I have a talent.  A very different talent, but a talent nonetheless.  I speak well, especially on matters of political philosophy.  And while I’m usually not an ends man, I’ll play eristic to get the job done.  Maybe I can just play and facilitate change without those I’m playing with (and against) noticing.  Pray for a good game.

http://web.welcomebackveterans.org/

WBV is operated by the owners and players of Major League Baseball, all of whom contribute time and money to assist veterans and their families in finding mental health providers, job training/placement, and links to government and non-profit organizations whose goals are to aid veterans in transition to civilian life.

Spent most of yesterday at the Zoo with my step.  Did a lot of walking.  I’m in a lot of pain today.  It’s my own damned fault.  Too vain to ride in a wheelchair.  Step too, whatever she is, to pull me in a wagon.  But it was nice to get some sun and to be out with and around other people.  All in all $100 well spent.  In spite of the pain, a little freebie, I’m feeling today.