The Broken Soldier

You know, it’s funny how something so simple, so straightforward, so reasonable can be the source of so much conflict.  I have asked those appointed over me for clear, correct, complete information.  Moreover, I’ve asked that this information be delivered in a timely fashion so as my wife and I can make the best short term and long term decisions possible.  Somehow, still, even after explaining myself and offering a few examples of the consequences receiving bad info have created for my wife and I, this is the cause of back and forth.  Or more appropriately, as I am no longer participating in the discussion, “back.”

For example, when I enlisted in May 2006 I was told to ‘hold tight,’ to ‘not be too entangled in work or school,’ as I’d be ‘heading to OCS during the next cycle, and then to OBC for between 4 months to over a year depending upon branch.’  After that, I’d ‘likely be deployed.’  I did as I was told.  I held tight.  I didn’t become entangled in a job or grad/professional school.  As a result, my wife and I ate up our savings, and in fact, we used a $14,000 CD in my name, which was to be used for our retirement fund, to offset the relative discomfort of one income.  After a year of waiting for my unit to get me a full clothing issue and a full TA50 (equipment issue), I broke down, after begging the unit to help resolve the situation to no avail, and began occasional work as a freelance writer to supplement our income while also staying true to the instruction to avoid entanglements.  When I dared suggest to my unit and to Officer Accessions that given what had transpired (and more importantly what hadn’t and the effect that had) we needed to discuss bonuses offered for completing OCS and volunteering for certain combat arms branches - for the purpose of replacing the retirement money we spent waiting for the Guard to do what it was supposed to do - I was dressed down and informed that I needed ‘to adjust my attitude.’

There are at least ten more examples of bad info that have cost my wife and I.  All of them costly either short term, long term, or both.  The effects range from the annoying, as being told my presence and my purchasing clothing to attend AT was mandatory (and that I’d be reimbursed for that expense) when that wasn’t the case, to the truly harmful, as in my wife and I turning down gainful job offers because we don’t know what’s going to happen next with my training, my medical care, and now my retention status.  What’s most bizarre about this is that I should have to argue the merits of getting the flow of info right.  Whatever.  I pray every night that I won’t have to deal with this much longer.