The Broken Soldier

I’m hoping I’m coming to the end of this.  I’ve not slept but a couple hours in days.  It’s hard to hold down food.  The pain is terrible.

I sat up, performed my morning ritual.  Greet the dog.  Greet the toilet.  Pepto, non-drowsy cold medicine, and a handful of OTC Ibuprofin (very close to the medical treatment I received while on active duty, minus the Pepto and the cold medicine).  Email.  Facebook.  Wife brings coffee and asks if I want something to eat.  Djarum Specials - wife lifted the cig prohibition.  Flip the channel on the up-all-night tired TV to something my conscious mind can tolerate.  Check the Broken Soldier.

This morning I found a comment awaiting moderation.  I approved it, and wrote back to its author with “Natural Born Killers” and opioid withdrawal accompaniment.

“Thank you GM,

My family, friends, and I appreciate your sympathies.
With regard to healing over time, I try to strike a balance between staying positive and being realistic.  As a general rule, those who receive prompt treatment tend to do better than those who don’t.  There are some factors working in my favor, and some that aren’t.  But even if I do ultimately heal, even if I recover fully or close to it, the pain and humiliation and financial ruin my wife and I have had visited on us by our government can never be undone.  It is because of this that I keep this blog.  It is for my brothers and sisters in uniform, those going through the same or worse, or those who may in some small way be saved by the corrective force sharing my experiences is having that I do this.  My sincerest hope is that through accounts of suffering of my comrades and I together we can affect positive change.  To truly keep the promises we’ve made to those who sacrifice so much, sometimes everything, for our peace and safety.
Please keep us in your prayers.  I will keep you and yours in mine.

Best,

Jimison”

When all the bullshit, all the posturing and threats, all the arguments, everything is tallied and tabulated, this is and has been the motivating force.  The true substance, ugly and undeniable, behind this.  The truth at the bottom.