The Broken Soldier

It’s been two months since my LoD was approved. It’s been two months since the approval authority at State JFHQ has had my doctor’s treatment plan. Nothing has been done.

My LT is doing her best to help, but she is almost as limited to affect change, and seems almost as frustrated, as I am. She is required to call to update me every week. It must be hard to gear yourself up to deliver no news - which, as she understands, given that the longer I go untreated the worse my prognosis becomes is bad news. I feel bad for her.

I am in the final stretch of medical evaluation. A physical evaluation board is scheduled for the 6th of December. There I will, I believe, receive the recommendation for discharge and possibly receive an initial disability rating. I’m simultaneously relieved and saddened. Relieved because finally this will be over. Saddened because I wasted close to two years of my life pursuing a goal, didn’t reach that goal, but managed to catch a nasty case of disability.

I can’t help but feel a bit suspicious of the motives of those appointed over me.  Those who are charged with making decisions that impact my life and the lives of those around me.  I’m not suspicious by nature, but my experiences while affiliated with the Army have, as a matter of induction, left me expecting and always bracing for the next regulation-flouting bumming.  I feel I am being positioned for discharge to shift the burden of caring for me from the Army, Guard Bureau, the Michigan State government, and TriCare system to the VA system. The thought of a VA doc cutting on my spine gives me the fantods.

Please say a prayer for my family and me.